3 December 2020 Roland Joffe I’m not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I’m really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.
3 December 2020 Billy Connolly I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
3 December 2020 Danny Boyle It’s not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it’s what you learn about yourself, really. It’s a funny old hippie thing, but it’s true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness.
3 December 2020 Danny Bonaduce It’s funny, because I’m a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
3 December 2020 Paula Deen I don’t care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I’ll laugh because they’ll probably be funny.
3 December 2020 Vera Wang The funny thing is that I’m the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who’s traveled with me. Normally, I’m in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
3 December 2020 Jo Brand Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders – not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
3 December 2020 Chris O'Dowd I think there’s something in the fact that it’s hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.
3 December 2020 Larry David I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
3 December 2020 Jo Brand I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there’s none of that hopefully.
3 December 2020 Lena Dunham I mean, I – it’s so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but I still live with my parents half the time. I’ve been sort of taking this very long, stuttering period of moving out.
3 December 2020 John Keegan The Islam of the 18th, 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion.
3 December 2020 Jay Leno The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
3 December 2020 Johnny Carson I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
3 December 2020 Woody Allen If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
3 December 2020 Philip Seymour Hoffman Life’s pretty funny when you’re objectively on the outside looking at it.
3 December 2020 Zach Galifianakis I think if they put a laugh track on ‘Intervention,’ it would be funny.
3 December 2020 James Denton And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there’s so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.
3 December 2020 Al Yankovic People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
3 December 2020 Michael Haneke It’s unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they’re like a baby – it’s not so funny.
