3 December 2020 Robert Orben Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Every speaker has a mouth An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it’s filled with feet.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Washington is a place where politicians don’t know which way is up and taxes don’t know which way is down.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
3 December 2020 Robert Orben I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it ‘arm around the shoulder’ humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It’s mean, mean stuff.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee – or laugh.
3 December 2020 Robert Orben Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
