3 December 2020 Tobias Wolff Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.
3 December 2020 Denis Leary The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he’s still as funny as he’s ever been, and he’s still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I’ll still be able to work.
3 December 2020 Lenny Kravitz I’m half Jewish, I’m half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It’s like, What is he doing?
3 December 2020 Jane Pauley This may sound funny, but as much as the ‘Today’ show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I’d been happy there. I never went into the boss’s office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, ‘Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!’
3 December 2020 Hillary Clinton I’m undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
3 December 2020 George M. Cohan Hurried and worried until we’re buried, and there’s no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
3 December 2020 Shailene Woodley So often, I read scripts and am like, ‘This would never happen in real life. It’s not trying to be funny. It’s trying to be serious.’
3 December 2020 Rodney Dangerfield I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
3 December 2020 Cat Deeley I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man.
3 December 2020 Fran Drescher And remember, it’s also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy.
3 December 2020 H. L. Mencken Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
3 December 2020 Lee Trevino Only bad golfers are lucky. They’re the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
3 December 2020 Matt Groening We’ve got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It’s bizarre, and they’re writing some very funny stuff.
3 December 2020 Natalie Wood The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
3 December 2020 Idina Menzel I would love to play ‘Funny Girl’ or ‘Evita,’ but I idolize the women who have played those parts. I don’t know if there needs to be another version of those shows.
3 December 2020 John Hodgman One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I’m very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
3 December 2020 Daryl Hall If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don’t have their assistants and entourage, it’s funny to see what happens.
3 December 2020 Matt LeBlanc I have funny bones. If there’s ever any kind of tension, I’ll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.
3 December 2020 Jamie Foxx You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I’m a black actor, so I can’t really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.
3 December 2020 Ellen DeGeneres People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
3 December 2020 Judd Nelson I just couldn’t go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland’s suicide. I didn’t see how we could make the show light and funny any more.
3 December 2020 David Brenner A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children.
3 December 2020 Craig Ferguson I’ve started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
3 December 2020 Garrett Hedlund It’s funny – I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I’m rounder in the face, I like to say, ‘This is my long-term look.’ Or ‘This is my wife-and-kids look right here.’
3 December 2020 Logan P. Smith We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
