3 December 2020 W. C. Fields No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
3 December 2020 W. C. Fields Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.
