3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.’
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy You may be a redneck if… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
3 December 2020 Jeff Foxworthy That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring.
